If you didn’t know by now, I’m Nick, a Stylist, and in my line of work I often come across people who feel trapped in themselves.
They own a style they don't want to wear, and they don’t know why they’re wearing it. The feeling of not understanding your own identity is crippling. But what’s really noteworthy here, is that the majority of people don’t realise this mistreatment is happening. It’s psychological.
Whether it's a significant other, a friend, or a family member, sometimes our appearance can be orchestrated by those closest to us. This act may be performed with intention by your other, or it can come from a place of love*.
In this blog, I'm going to share with you my top 4 signs that your style is being manipulated, for self-awareness looking forward to a more positive future;
1. Your wardrobe has been fully bought for you, without any say from you.
One of the clearest signs that your style is being manipulated is when your wardrobe has been fully bought for you without any input from you. If you're in this situation, it's important to ask yourself why someone is doing this. Are they trying to control your appearance? Do they believe that you have poor taste? Whatever the reason, you deserve to have a say in what you wear, or at the very least, some involvement.
2. When you feel totally sweet in your style, you don't receive the admiration you hoped for.
Another sign that your style is being manipulated is when you feel totally confident in your outfit. They can see your upbeat energy, but they don't match it, they crush it. If you're dressing for yourself, it's important that you feel sweet about what you're wearing. If others don't seem to appreciate your style, it may be a sign that they're trying to control how you present yourself to the world, or worse, how you feel.
3. Your inspirations are repeatedly ridiculed, knowing full well you idolise their style.
If someone you're close to consistently ridicules the fashion, artist, creator or sporting icons you admire, it's a negative signal. We all have our own personal style inspirations and it's important that we're allowed to express that without fear of judgement. If someone repeatedly tries to mock and tear-down your muses, it may be a sign that they're trying to manipulate who you chose to pull inspiration from for your own style.
4. Your opinions when shopping are over-shadowed, with comments like “no, that’s not you anymore”.
Finally, if your opinions when shopping are consistently over-shadowed by someone else's, it's a sign that your style is being controlled. For example, if you like a certain piece of clothing, and someone gives a direct negative response, while identifying who you are for you, that’s a sign that they're trying to have hold over your appearance. You deserve to have a say in what you wear, and your opinions should be respected.
If you're experiencing any of the above signs, it's best to take a step back and evaluate the situation. Are you dressing for yourself or does someone else dictate your appearance? If the later, it's important to stand up for yourself and reclaim your identity.
Remember, all of the actions mentioned reflect issues and insecurities of the person. Not you. You’re not the issue. This blog isn’t here to place blame, it’s here to identify a negative problem for it to be resolved for a positive future.
Your appearance reflects who you are. You deserve to live authentically true. Give me a shout if you’re feeling unsure or need my help with your style. Just drop me a quick email nick@manaboutstyle.co.uk – I got you!
*love should come from a place of unselfish devotion. Too much love can lead to control and suffocation, which is the opposite of original intentions. Instead, support and guidance is a kinder type of love to give.