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  • Writer's pictureNick Howard-Lanes

Pain In The Ass Insecurities

Updated: Mar 16, 2023

If you have pain in the ass insecurities holding you back... It’s time you start putting yourself on a pedestal.


Maybe you’re excruciatingly shy and can’t bare latching eye contact with a total stranger you’re about to greet for the first time?


Perhaps you consider the absolute worse of your appearance and dark clothing has become your go-to clothing style of choice?


Insecurities are in all of us - all of us! Even the ones you believe to have it all.


Want to know something about me? I find it extremely toe-curling, with heart-palpitating apprehension when talking into a camera. To the point 'one-take-wonders' on Instagram Stories isn't always a reality.


You may think that's nothing because most feel this way. However, I do it for a job. For a living. While after many years, this insecurity remains intact.


If you think about it, it would be completely unnatural and near impossible to live a life filled with complexities and challenges without picking up at least one personally negative trait.


Well, here's one very simple counter punch on this over-shadowing creature;

Focus attention on you, rather than them.


A difficult moment requires a selfish mindset without the predictability of another individuals judgement.


A life needs living without the comparison of another life.


You need to physically, mentally, spiritually be the person you want to become (and deservedly so).


The person without those insecurities.


The person who assuredly looks down the barrel of a strangers eye and styles themselves in adored shades of colour.


So, let’s ask yourself; ‘who does that person look like?’


Create a visual image in your head by noting everything you see. What are they wearing? How are they wearing it? What is their posture like? Where are they in the world? Do they look happy?


Really think about this version of you. It's easy to achieve if relaxed in a dream-like state. Eyes closed. Sat comfortably. Chilled sounds, or even silence.


If envisioning yourself seems daunting, then visualise a pleasing movie scene starring you as the main character.


There’s no reason you cannot live-out this style of you.


A style that has been created authentically by you. Not from a billboard advertisement, not a glossy tv commercial - and not even by your partner.


There’s nothing easier in life (and more fulfilling) than doing something that comes completely natural to you. And that's the confident person you just created in your thoughts.


You know what? I think I like him already!


Remember, we are all the same in that we all hold forms of insecurities.


The only difference being, you’ve inspired an authentic pedestal for yourself.


p.s. About my insecurity; I don't let it stop me from achieving self-success. My desire to spread knowledge about the importance of style overrides any insecurity I have. Visualising positive scenarios from my desires allows me to beat the over-shadowed creature.

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